Batman for President

In Response to Breaking News

Batman for President — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 06:13:21 +0000

GOTHAM CITY - Lucius Fox, Chairman of the Batman for President Campaign, issued the following statement in regards to reports that the Batman is on the run as a fugitive from justice:

“By now, you’ve all heard the reports. We’ve still got information coming in here at campaign headquarters, and the facts are still unclear. But we all knew the kind of media firestorm we would face in this campaign, and we also know the kind of man, the kind of leader, that the Batman truly is. We knew they would try to twist his heroism and use it against him. We knew this was coming - I just don’t think any of us expected it would be this blatant.”

“Of this much, we can be certain: whatever the case may be, we are on the side of the Batman, because we know he is on ours.”

Stay tuned for more updates as events unfold at http://www.batmanforpresident.com

Vice Presidential Announcement

Batman for President — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 05:25:34 +0000

GOTHAM CITY - The following statement was released this evening by the BATMAN himself:

The major political parties have decided on their candidates. Soon, they will select running mates in efforts to appease various political interests. This is not my intent, nor is it my choice. Instead, I looked at who would be the best, the most intelligent, experienced, and electronically capable vice president. I wanted someone with the battle hardened courage to lead singlehandedly should I ever be otherwise occupied dealing with a menace to the American people. I wanted someone who had the national security policy experience of being a former Secretary of Defense. And I wanted someone who commanded the respect of his peers and the fear of his foes.

The choice was clear. I have offered, and he has accepted. In 2008, my running mate is none other than IRON MAN.

People of America: we are here for you.

Enemies of America: we are coming for you.

BATMAN

The BATMAN FOR PRESIDENT campaign will have more information on this newly formed ticket in the days ahead. Media availability will follow as soon as possible. Stay tuned.

The Candidate Whose Day Has Come

Batman for President — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 06:55:06 +0000

America is asking: Who is the Batman? What does he stand for?

Unflinching pursuit of the enemy.
Deliverer of violent righteous justice.
Believes in capital punishment for rape and for wearing underwear outside your pants.
Absolutely willing to scare, beat, and torture the vile to save the lives of the innocent - but treats the latter with great compassion.
Hates hippies, bad folk music, and corruption.
Believes in revitalizing the inner city through capitalism, philanthropy, and two-fisted justice.
Wants to be left the hell alone to worship when, what, and how Batman chooses.
Believes in protecting innocent human life from conception until he or the state puts it to death.
If you come into his house, he wants to use any weapon he pleases against you, including ones he invented, permits be damned.
Zionist.
Clearly opposed to the death tax.
Richer than God, and no, he’s not ashamed of it.

In 2008, the choice is yours. The choice is clear. Vote Batman.

“Batman would probably be for Rudy, they’re both Gotham boys after all. But I’m for him, cause unlike Rudy, Batman would drive his mistress home himself. In the freaking BATMOBILE.”

B4P 08: You Can’t Stop the Signal

Batman for President — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 19:12:38 +0000

“I’m so tired of anti-superhero coded bigotry being used against the Batman in the primaries. Lucifer and the Green Lantern are brothers, eh? Disgusting. They may not like superheroes, but the FACT is that superheroes are good, decent Americans who embody good, decent American values. Even if they do dress in tights.” -B4P Supporter

Join, volunteer, and work for Batman 2008.

Batman 2008 Responds to GOP Debate

Batman for President — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 19:07:30 +0000

GOTHAM CITY - The Batman 2008 Campaign released the following statement to the media regarding the Republican Debate in Florida last night. What follows is a quote from Campaign Chairman Lucius Fox:

Last night’s debate showed you exactly what you can expect from this band of self-styled leaders. In every way, we see their deficiencies in office by comparison.

Only the Batman brings experience to the table to be both the ruthless Chief Executive and the merciless Commander in Chief of the United States of America.

Only the Batman has the established record of working across human/superhero lines, bringing both worlds together to unite against evil, even if he does think Superman is totally square.

Only the Batman has the established record of asskickery and capitalist fervor to solve our economic crises AND punish evildoers.

Does anyone believe that the election of these candidates would strike fear in the hearts of our enemies? Does anyone believe the Batman will not?

It’s time for a new type of president - one who isn’t afraid to do what it takes, one who doesn’t pander to special interests, and one who doesn’t wear pancake makeup or gets his eyebrows waxed for the cameras. It’s time for President Batman.

The campaign also expects to release additional policy position papers in the coming weeks. Stay tuned.

Batman for President

Batman for President — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 18:45:38 +0000

“When I first heard about Batman running for President, I thought he would probably be for Rudy Giuliani, they’re both Gotham boys after all. But I’m for him, cause unlike Rudy, Batman would drive his mistress home himself. In the freaking BATMOBILE.” -B4P Supporter